by HPWehmeier » 13 Feb 2012, 22:55
You damn kids and your Silvers and Sapphires and Platinums. Back in my day you had the choice of blue or red, and you were damn happy to get one of them. If you wanted to see a Pokemon in colour, you had to watch the cartoons, because you know damn well that the Gameboy didn't have colour. Anything past the first generation is hogwash. Hogwash I tells ya! I remember taking turns having Pokemon battles at recess because we only had one link cable; none of this wi-fi voodoo. My Blastoise was the tootinest turtle in the land. Back in the day they used to call him Squirtle, but then he reached level 16 and became known as Wartortle. Those years he was very angry, and was responsible for a lot of damage around town. He joined a gang called the Outsiders, along with some kid named Ponyboy. You see, that's where the term "dog and pony show" came from, though originally it was a "turtle and pony show." It wasn't a very good show because turtles aren't exactly the most exciting performers, nor did the turtle have any chemistry with the pony. We'd race the turtles against rabbits, but they'd always lose. It turns out that the "The Tortoise and the Hare" was written in 1954 by Chairman Mao in order to undermine American capitalism. You see, President Eisenhower was given a copy as an anonymous gift, and come 1957 there was a missile gap between the States and the Soviets, because slow and steady was not winning the race. Later in the 60s that same Squirtle became involved in "Operation Mongoose." Because he's a turtle, he could swim around without any suspicion. It was his job to plant a shiny oyster in the water, which was really a bomb, so that when Castro went SCUBA diving, he'd pick up the oyster, and explode. However, Squirtle complained that the operation was named after a mongoose, and he was a member of the Reptile's Union. The snakes were having an ongoing battle against the mongeese, so Squirtle refused to enact the mission. Bobby Kennedy then scrapped Operation Mongoose and began attacking perceived corruption in labour unions. This upset Squirtle to no end, and on November 22, 1963, Squirtle positioned himself on a grassy knoll.
Where was I?
Ah yes. I'm interested, and I significantly prefer the first generation.
Platinum member of "
the Classicists"
It's a little known fact that smartest animal is a pig. Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20-30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner you can eat them.