This is me as well.

Please introduce yourself, so we can get to know you better!

Re: This is me as well.

Postby kimpossible » 07 Mar 2019, 14:35

<3
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Her?
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby Zoomzip » 07 Mar 2019, 14:51

Just to clarify: you still owe me a beer correct?
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby AKFD » 07 Mar 2019, 15:20

Happy Birthday Telleo!

(idk if I am late but yeah!)

These facts are very interesting!
Also hello to Furycane!
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby mat.gopack » 07 Mar 2019, 16:29

I'll echo the general feeling here, glad to hear more about you and looking forward to more interactions in the future with both you and furycane!

<3
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby condude1 » 07 Mar 2019, 18:08

Telleo wrote:
8) Because I’m a transgender man.

I’ve been on this site for six years. Well. I joined this site six years ago. I took about a year and a half break from the site, across 2015 and 2016. I’ve not really talked about what went down for me during that time, which is a big part of who I am now, and I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss. Things. But, hard things, so maybe I’ll skip the gory details? Maybe.

I came out as gay in 2008, long before I joined Playdip. I thought… I don’t know. Like the pressure to be someone I’m not would just stop, once I was out. But it didn’t. I liked women, and dated women, and was fortunate enough to live in an area of the world where that kind of thing is more broadly acceptable. But something still felt off, like I was living a role, not a life. And as I became increasingly uncomfortable with who I was, I started spiraling, hard, into depression. It took a serious toll on my ability to enjoy things, like forum mafia, and I withdrew from this community and from most other things I took pleasure in.

While in therapy for depression, I talked more about my discomfort with my own sexuality, and having a space to open up and vent helped me eventually come to the realization that I felt more comfortable assuming roles typically given to men. I stopped wearing dresses (something I already didn’t do much), cut my hair short, and, after a few months of feeling more like myself than I ever had, I started asking people to call me “he.” I changed my name from “Kim” to “Noah” and I began hormone replacement therapy and I celebrated when my voice started cracking even though it was awkward as fuck to be in my mid twenties and sounding like a 13-year-old and now most people call me “he” without me even having to ask them.

I’ve been lucky, in a lot of ways. My girlfriend (Furycane on this site) has been with me through the whole thing. Honestly, I think she just likes joking that she was straight, but I made her gay, then made her straight again, all without changing the relationship. My parents have been confused at worst, but understanding, and when they make mistakes they try to fix them. My sisters have been supportive, and kind, and keep me sane when the dysphoria starts to get destructive.

So why didn’t I mention this when it began? I want to be really clear; it’s not about the people here. Most/all of you knew already that I was gay, and I’ve had nothing but support from this community. I never doubted for a second that the people I knew here would be accepting and supportive of me. But at the same time, I liked having a place to be female still. It was like looking through a time machine at a person I used to know. Used to be. This site was, in many ways, a memory that I wanted to hold on to. So I maintained my feminine identity online. I’ve been slowly preparing for a little while (basically since Sinny came out to us a few months ago), to take up my male identity here, and I think I’m ready at last.

So what now?

I’m not going to make demands about pronouns. I will respond to whatever you call me; I prefer “he” and “him” but will be equally happy with “they/them” or “she/her” - I still feel somewhat fluid in my gender identity, and if it is easier for you to remember me as female, I don’t mind. Eventually I may change my mind about this, but for now, use what you like. And I hope you remember, I’m still the same snarky, obnoxious, scum-mastermind I was before. Just mostly male now.


I'm glad that you sound like you're in a pretty good place now Telleo! I AM going to call you a she a couple times out of force of habit, but I'll work on it! It takes guts to post something like this, I'm impressed.

Also, Furycane's apparently awesome too. Nice!
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby Durga » 07 Mar 2019, 19:40

happy birthday you are SO cute wow
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby NJLonghorn » 08 Mar 2019, 00:57

I'll share the rest of my thoughts shortly, but I want to start with the birthday thing. As I was reading your post, that sentiment touched me more than anything else (which is saying a lot, because the post was very touching overall).

I am skeptical and unimpressed when people claim to always be happy. Without highs and lows, are they really living? Thus, if you had said it is always your birthday, I would've rolled my eyes and moved on.

But for you, it's always the day before your birthday. What a beautiful, inspiring thought!!! Whether today is a great day, a horrible day, or in between, you have tomorrow to look forward to. Chills.

((Plus, if your birthday never arrives, do you ever get old??))
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby NJLonghorn » 08 Mar 2019, 01:19

And now, the rest of my reaction...

Wow, what a post.

I have to admit that I almost stopped reading after the colorblind paragraph. I don't know you from Adam (Eve??? gender is sooooo confusing these days :D ), so I didn't feel all that compelled to learn more. But I thought I'd give it a chance, and your paragraph about the tall ship was interesting enough to keep me engaged. Or maybe I just didn't want to face the pile of work on my desk. In any event, I kept reading.

The nerd and water garden paragraphs almost lost my interest -- and then came the birthday paragraph. Again, I absolutely LOVED that.

As a member of my local school board, I was happy to hear of your decision to go into education/counseling. Good people in that field are critical to the wellbeing of our next generation.

Then came the transgender bombshell. Ironically, I never knew you were female, so it took me a half second to process whether you had transitioned from male to female or vice versa. Then, I was hooked by the story. As I said in the Sinnybee thread, I don't understand why anyone wouldn't be supportive of you and your decisions. You are living your life the way you need and want to, and I say more power to you.

(I agonized for a while over whether to include the following paragraph, I hope you'll forgive me for going forward with it if you think I made the wrong decision.)

That said, I will share that this issue always makes me a bit uncomfortable. Not because you did anything wrong. Quite the contrary -- you seem to have done everything right. Instead, I feel a bit uncomfortable about my level of interest in your situation. It makes me feel like a bit of a voyeur. While I'm sensitive to your difficulties and supportive of your decisions, I'd be lying if I said I understand them. As a life-long, unwaveringly straight male (how boring, right?!?), gender confusion is a baffling mystery to me. And as a curious person, I always want to learn more about things I don't understand. Thus, I find myself more interested in issues like this than I probably should be. But you did pull back the curtains, so I guess I shouldn't be ashamed to peek in.

One final note -- I feel imminently qualified to say that you were hot as a female. Wow, wow, wow! Tongue retreating. While I'm less qualified to comment, you also make a very well-put-together young man. And your girlfriend is very cute as well, although not as much my type as you. I know, I know ... you didn't ask and I should keep my lustful opinions to myself. But you did include pictures. :D
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby Keirador » 08 Mar 2019, 01:52

You're gonna get some hop-ons.
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby UFO Fever » 08 Mar 2019, 02:06

1. This is a good post and I hope you have full support from everyone.
2. Happy birthday!
3. That's a big NOPE from me with boats.
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