This is me as well.

Please introduce yourself, so we can get to know you better!

This is me as well.

Postby Telleo » 07 Mar 2019, 06:25

So. I guess. Time for some truth-telling. Taking some inspiration from Sinnybee, here’s a couple fun facts about Telleo:

1) I’m colorblind. Like, really colorblind. Like, when people ask “what colors can’t you see?” it’s easier to list the ones I CAN reliably see. Which are… none of them.

2) I spent a month working on a tall ship, learning how to sail in deep water. There’s nothing like the sight of water stretching endlessly away to every horizon. We sailed the East Coast of the US, through water so clear I could see a shark a mile below me, through water that glowed with bioluminexcent plantkon tracing every fish in the sea, through storms that blasted the water with lightning mere feet from the bow of the ship. This is the ship I sailed on, the Westward: (not my photo)

Image

3) I’m a nerd. In addition to the nerd activities on this site, I also play Magic (mostly Commander format, though I dabble in other variants too), D&D (monks4life), and am more than willing to geek out about botany, specifically related to water lilies and lotuses.

4) I currently work at a water garden, where care of tropical plants is one of my primary duties. I also build ponds and streams, care for fish, and roll my eyes at customers.

5) Tomorrow is my birthday! Yes. Tomorrow. Forever tomorrow. On every day, and on no day at all, I was born.

6) I’m currently finishing my bachelors in Music Education, while applying to grad school for several different counseling/therapy programs. My ideal job right now would be working as a high school counselor, because I want to help young people find themselves and become comfortable in who they are.

7) It’s taken me nearly a decade to complete my bachelors degree. Why? Well, a lot of reasons, but the TLDR is…

8) Because I’m a transgender man.

I’ve been on this site for six years. Well. I joined this site six years ago. I took about a year and a half break from the site, across 2015 and 2016. I’ve not really talked about what went down for me during that time, which is a big part of who I am now, and I’d like to take this opportunity to discuss. Things. But, hard things, so maybe I’ll skip the gory details? Maybe.

I came out as gay in 2008, long before I joined Playdip. I thought… I don’t know. Like the pressure to be someone I’m not would just stop, once I was out. But it didn’t. I liked women, and dated women, and was fortunate enough to live in an area of the world where that kind of thing is more broadly acceptable. But something still felt off, like I was living a role, not a life. And as I became increasingly uncomfortable with who I was, I started spiraling, hard, into depression. It took a serious toll on my ability to enjoy things, like forum mafia, and I withdrew from this community and from most other things I took pleasure in.

While in therapy for depression, I talked more about my discomfort with my own sexuality, and having a space to open up and vent helped me eventually come to the realization that I felt more comfortable assuming roles typically given to men. I stopped wearing dresses (something I already didn’t do much), cut my hair short, and, after a few months of feeling more like myself than I ever had, I started asking people to call me “he.” I changed my name from “Kim” to “Noah” and I began hormone replacement therapy and I celebrated when my voice started cracking even though it was awkward as fuck to be in my mid twenties and sounding like a 13-year-old and now most people call me “he” without me even having to ask them.

I’ve been lucky, in a lot of ways. My girlfriend (Furycane on this site) has been with me through the whole thing. Honestly, I think she just likes joking that she was straight, but I made her gay, then made her straight again, all without changing the relationship. My parents have been confused at worst, but understanding, and when they make mistakes they try to fix them. My sisters have been supportive, and kind, and keep me sane when the dysphoria starts to get destructive.

So why didn’t I mention this when it began? I want to be really clear; it’s not about the people here. Most/all of you knew already that I was gay, and I’ve had nothing but support from this community. I never doubted for a second that the people I knew here would be accepting and supportive of me. But at the same time, I liked having a place to be female still. It was like looking through a time machine at a person I used to know. Used to be. This site was, in many ways, a memory that I wanted to hold on to. So I maintained my feminine identity online. I’ve been slowly preparing for a little while (basically since Sinny came out to us a few months ago), to take up my male identity here, and I think I’m ready at last.

So what now?

I’m not going to make demands about pronouns. I will respond to whatever you call me; I prefer “he” and “him” but will be equally happy with “they/them” or “she/her” - I still feel somewhat fluid in my gender identity, and if it is easier for you to remember me as female, I don’t mind. Eventually I may change my mind about this, but for now, use what you like. And I hope you remember, I’m still the same snarky, obnoxious, scum-mastermind I was before. Just mostly male now.

To satisfy curiosity (*cough* Sinnybee *cough*), here are pictures of me before I began my transition, and me and Furycane after transition:

Image

Image
Last edited by Telleo on 07 Mar 2019, 06:54, edited 2 times in total.
A pretty young girl who's not dumb
But started to feel somewhat glum,
Did leave for a time,
Now comes back to rhyme,
And also to kill her some scum.
Harb wrote:Telleo is gender-bent Chaucer from A Knight's Tale

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Re: This is me as well.

Postby Furycane » 07 Mar 2019, 06:27

<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
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Zoomzip wrote:I kinda thought it was an impressive tour de force of snarky bardism.
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby sinnybee » 07 Mar 2019, 06:41

:D 8-) :roll: :mrgreen: :geek:

Telleo wrote:Honestly, I think she just likes joking that she was straight, but I made her gay, then made her straight again, all without changing the relationship

I lol'd at this :D

As I've told you before, you two make such a cute couple! :)

Whether you want to be identified as a straight guy or not, you can keep your queer badge of honor if you want to :)
Last edited by sinnybee on 07 Mar 2019, 08:34, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby mhsmith0 » 07 Mar 2019, 06:41

Awesome!
Proud holder of the Superior Tophat of Solving, an item entrusted with the forum's most prominent smartass
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby Keirador » 07 Mar 2019, 07:01

I feel betrayed, and like I can't even trust you anymore. Obviously it impacts our relationship that you worked on a tall ship, and basically lied to me about it.



Sorry, I'm incapable of expressing sincere sentiment publicly. You know how I feel, and in case that's in doubt to third parties, Telleo was kick-ass before, is kick-ass now, and we're lucky he feels that we can share in his story.
Did you know there’s a faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home? It’s true. She’s there now. She’s always there, just out of your sight. Always just out of your sight.
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby shadowface » 07 Mar 2019, 07:17

Cool! 8-) I'm glad you've become someone who you're more happy being. Thanks for sharing.
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby sinnybee » 07 Mar 2019, 07:58

Telleo wrote:A pretty young girl who's not dumb
But started to feel somewhat glum,
Did leave for a time,
Now comes back to rhyme,
And also to kill her some scum.

You need a new signature? :)

Now Telleo's become a guy
Bye dresses and now wearing ties
Former and latter
Gender's no matter
You're here to rhyme and make scum die

:mrgreen:

Telleo wrote:5) Tomorrow is my birthday! Yes. Tomorrow. Forever tomorrow. On every day, and on no day at all, I was born.

I'm so glad you added this super important fun fact about you!
I hope you have a great birthday!

What's that you say?
Encore?
Another limerick?

"It's almost my birthday" you say
Wow! Really? Exciting! No way!
I've baked you a cake
You'll eat it next wake
When tomorrow becomes today

:mrgreen:

Telleo wrote:To satisfy curiosity (*cough* Sinnybee *cough*), here are pictures of me before I began my transition, and me and Furycane after transition:

You showed me your recent pic like right after you came out to me.
And I never said I was curious to see your before pic :P
But yeah, I may have had a... secondary reason, of wanting to see it myself :P

Telleo wrote:2) I spent a month working on a tall ship, learning how to sail in deep water. There’s nothing like the sight of water stretching endlessly away to every horizon. We sailed the East Coast of the US, through water so clear I could see a shark a mile below me, through water that glowed with bioluminexcent plantkon tracing every fish in the sea, through storms that blasted the water with lightning mere feet from the bow of the ship. This is the ship I sailed on, the Westward: (not my photo)

I'm trying to stop myself from posting...
this...
sorry...
can't help myself...



:lol:
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby nanooktheeskimo » 07 Mar 2019, 08:22

<3
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby Pootleflump » 07 Mar 2019, 09:01

Telleo, I love your story.... from colour blindness, tall ships, botany and depression to being happy with who you are and celebrating life.

Good luck with your career in counselling. I'm sure you will be amazing. You have so much to give other young people.

But, please.... don't give up the botany...... !!

You guys make the cutest couple.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Thanks for sharing.
But, I nearly forgot, you must close your eyes otherwise you won't see anything

Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality
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Re: This is me as well.

Postby sjg11 » 07 Mar 2019, 14:34

Well like Keirador I wanna know more about that ship.

Oh and happy birthday, don’t worry I’m not gonna forget evil scum Telleo anytime soon ;) .
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Sir SJG's known as a gem,
He writes a good game,
and runs it the same,
Oh what a perfect GM!

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