Writing Contest Mafia AAR (Scum Win)

[sjg11]

Wait, so who currently possesses the Aura of Greater Townieness?

Nobody. Keirador has the right to award it and said nobody has earned it.

Wow. How has sjg not earned the Aura of Greater Townieness? I'm the cuddliest player on this site.

[kimpossible]

Wait, so who currently possesses the Aura of Greater Townieness?

Nobody. Keirador has the right to award it and said nobody has earned it.

Wow. How has sjg not earned the Aura of Greater Townieness? I'm the cuddliest player on this site.

[Telleo]

That was the perfect reaction.

[Keirador]

In tree-related updates, Banco Santander managed to find the door code!

So the contracting team showed up, took one look, and said "ha, this is impossible without a crane."

So instead of removing the tree, they saw our firepit, and professionally re-imagined the downed tree as firewood we could use. For, presumably, many years. It is being stored conveniently in an enormous pile in the middle of the yard. The rest of the dead tree, which could easily destroy our house if it fell completely, is definitely somebody's problem, but since it will be extremely expensive to remove (you'd have to get a crane large enough to go over a three story building just to reach the area, never mind even begin doing something about the tree), nobody's exactly willing to claim responsibility. It's most obviously the bank's, since the tree is on their land, but everybody at that branch would rather just get re-assigned to a different branch than deal with this. This constitutes a quarter-ruining expense, and they'd rather risk the tree falling onto a house after they've already moved on than tarnish their careers with a bad quarter.

The contractor crew also got it into their heads that they needed to "move" our raised beds, almost literally the only things that completely survived the fall of the tree, which we hand-built and hand-filled. I think we eventually calculated that we brought in something like 14,000 pounds of material--soil, rocks for drainage, stone pavers, wood and construction equipment--into the garden by hand (since there's no vehicle access). Here's the thing about a raised bed, it doesn't have a bottom, so if you "move" one, what you have done is moved a frame and left a very large mound of loose soil in a heap, a heap which just spreads out over everything over time with no frame to contain it. So the net effect is to take a useful, functional, productive garden that was one of your only hobbies during quarantine, a hobby that rewarded you with fresh herbs and delicious heirloom tomatoes, and turn it into a large mess. Since we lovingly built the raised beds ourselves over several months, rather than pay a landscaper, we might be compensated for the monetary value of dirt, at best, unless we sue, because we didn't pay ourselves for our own labor and the individual stones are undamaged.

Of course, with any luck we won't need to worry about planting anything at all this spring, because the next wind storm will knock the rest of the tree over and just kill us dead in our sleep; it's perfectly positioned to crash right into our bed. That is, after all, where I always wanted to die.

So yes, the next game I play is probably also going to be at 50% capacity.

[Dwiltse1114]

I meant that your way of doing things is confusing to others, DW. As in you cause confusion.

then ill accept it if it becomes a thing

[shadowface]

I meant that your way of doing things is confusing to others, DW. As in you cause confusion.

then ill accept it if it becomes a thing

I mean you can always give it away if you find someone more worthy (though I don't know how likely that is )

[kimpossible]

Jesus fuck Keirador. I want to be shocked by the dystopian Brazilscape, but none of it actually seems unbelievable. Just shitty.

I'm really sorry you're dealing with all that shit.

[Keirador]

Thanks, we all got our shit. Speaking of which, I'm really glad your cat's gonna be OK. Sharing more because I think the Kafka-esque absurdity of this whole situation is downright interesting, if not funny.