Post-stab communication

[Aurelin]

In a lot of Diplomacy advice articles, I keep reading that you should communicate the most after a stab. I never actually see this happen, though. After I stab, they usually go silent, and when I get stabbed, I try my best to send one message, but never can think of anything to say after that. Why is it important to communicate after a stab, and what do you say?

[Nanook]

It's important to communicate after a stab because 99% of the time, the game doesn't end after that stab. So unless your stab ends the game (or the game of the person you stabbed), you can't predict with 100% accuracy how the remainder of the game will go, and whether you'll need to work with the person you just stabbed later on. That's why it's important, from a game perspective. From a human perspective, it's just good manners, and keeps things in perspective--yeah you're fighting now, but it's just a game, and not personal.

As for what you say...that really depends person to person. Some people need a cooling off period before you can say anything. Some people like an explanation for why you stabbed (some people take this as condescending, though, so be careful). Some people it's best to just ignore the game entirely and find something else to talk about, some other shared interest. It really just depends player to player, and you have to sort of play it by ear and make an educated guess.

[AKFD]

I agree with Nanook. Re-forging alliances has helped me.

This is needed when doing "Stop the leader alliances"

[Aurelin]

What does GoT stand for?

[AKFD]

What does GoT stand for?

Game of Thrones.

[Charleroi]

The post-stab message also depends a lot on your pre-stab relationship. If it was close and you're sprinting for the solo, it's sporting to send a message expressing some appreciation for the relationship you had and your best luck/wishes for the rest of the game.

In most of the situations, when the game isn't about to rush toward a conclusion, you just need to swallow your pride and reach out. Often times, it's a good stab (meaning it gave the stabber a genuine and helpful advantage). Acknowledging as the stabbed person that the stabber made a good move can help open communications. If, on the other hand, the stab doesn't materially improve the stabbers position, you might want to vent some steam in a message. You can draft it, but maybe think once or twice before hitting that send key.

But the biggest thing is that the game will go on. You need to take an honest look at the board. Is the person who just stabbed you in a position to keep helping you? Are you in a position to be valuable to her? If so, work on cultivating your relationship but be realistic. Demanding that you get back the centers you just lost isn't going to get anyone anywhere.

And remember, working together after a stab doesn't require forgetting the stab. You've learned something valuable about the stabber - did they lie to you for a material gain or just for a waste of time? Did they manipulate other players into sending messages that made the stab more unexpected? Remember that for the rest of the game so that you can be alert to future betrayals from that player.

[NJLonghorn]

The post-stab message also depends a lot on your pre-stab relationship. If it was close and you're sprinting for the solo, it's sporting to send a message expressing some appreciation for the relationship you had and your best luck/wishes for the rest of the game.

In most of the situations, when the game isn't about to rush toward a conclusion, you just need to swallow your pride and reach out. Often times, it's a good stab (meaning it gave the stabber a genuine and helpful advantage). Acknowledging as the stabbed person that the stabber made a good move can help open communications. If, on the other hand, the stab doesn't materially improve the stabbers position, you might want to vent some steam in a message. You can draft it, but maybe think once or twice before hitting that send key.

But the biggest thing is that the game will go on. You need to take an honest look at the board. Is the person who just stabbed you in a position to keep helping you? Are you in a position to be valuable to her? If so, work on cultivating your relationship but be realistic. Demanding that you get back the centers you just lost isn't going to get anyone anywhere.

And remember, working together after a stab doesn't require forgetting the stab. You've learned something valuable about the stabber - did they lie to you for a material gain or just for a waste of time? Did they manipulate other players into sending messages that made the stab more unexpected? Remember that for the rest of the game so that you can be alert to future betrayals from that player.

This is pretty much my approach. At every point in every game, my goal is to get the best result I can. That requires deciding whether I'm better off working with or against the person who just stabbed me, then making that happen.

What I don't understand is people who get emotional after a stab. It's. A. Game.

[duckling]

What I don't understand is people who get emotional after a stab. It's. A. Game.

Not to mention that the changes in alliances, stabs or not, are an essential part of the game.

OK, I can get the immediate frustration. But not when people lets it derail them.
OTOH, gaming peoples minds is just as essential, I guess....

[DirtyHarry]

Hey Duckling, I struggled with the same thing when I first got here (about 18 months ago), but I've found communication is almost always better than non communication.

One piece of advice I read that has held true is, it's almost always better to write something than nothing. Vent, rant, complain, congratulate - anything. If I get stabbed, I usually give the person a little time to explain, and if they don't, then I might do one of the things mentioned. There has been a few times where I've written a full on chainsaw message, calling the person a beginner or a moron or whatever. And it's amazing how many times that provokes a response, and then the dialogue starts. Sometimes, the relationship even gets better than before the stab. Because now we are really being honest with each other.

I'll blast them, and then I'll get response, oh very classy Russia (or whoever I'm playing). And then I can say something more contrite, I might have been a little over the top, but why did you do it? Or, I think you are making a big mistake trusting ... whoever.

As the others have said, there can be value in keeping the comms going, and you may learn something, or gain an advantage you wouldn't have if you just go mute and silently fume at the person.

If the person ignores you, try the chainsaw approach. It's surprisingly effective at getting comms going again.

[David E. Cohen]

My general practice is to communicate with everyone, every turn. Stabber, stabbee, it makes no difference.